Dreams, Questions, and Consequences
by flawedpeanuts
Summary: Ichigo has been having weird dreams lately. Ichigo questions, he gets answers. As all hell starts to unravel, Ichigo will wish that he had kept his thoughts to himself.


Ichigo has been having weird dreams lately. Ichigo questions, he gets answers. As all hell starts to unravel, Ichigo will wish that he had kept his thoughts to himself.

Note: I have no idea where I was going with this fic. If I rewrite it I will probably replace this entire chapter, i'm not proud with it at all lmao. have fun with this unfinished mess?

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It's been 14 months since Ichigo has lost his powers. The days go by slowly, every day leaving Ichigo feeling like a stranger in his own shoes. That isn't, however, what's been bothering him.

Ichigo's been having weird dreams for a while now. 6 months, to be exact.

They're all relatively the same, although recently, they've been ever more present. Over the course of the past 6 months, the dreams have become almost a daily occurrence. He recalls the first of these dreams he had.

 _Everything was white. Blindingly white._

 _Then, a figure came to focus. One with a ragged, billowing coat. Perhaps it was his hopeful heart, but he had to admit that at first, the figure had looked a lot like the spirit of his sword. He had been without his powers for many months now, and he was getting more restless everyday, itching to hold Zangetsu within his palms._

 _"Zangetsu?!" Ichigo's voice was laced with confusion, yet it was lighthearted and held an irregular eagerness, a yearning that surprised himself when he heard it come out of his mouth. Had anyone knew of his response, they wouldn't blame him. It was hard to be without your zanpakuto for a long time, and many could sympathize._

 _What he got in response confused himself even more. He heard, or rather barely heard a very heafty chuckle, and he could barely make out the figure smiling. His voice was echo-y, almost like his hollow's, but yet at the same time sounded like the man was underwater. It was odd._

 _The man's voice wasn't the only thing that surprised him. His own vision was really, really blurry, like he couldn't focus. Like he couldn't see the full picture, only parts of it._

 _Ichigo focused as much as he could, which wasn't much. But, he noticed that this figure, while similar in appearance, was most definitely_ not _Zangetsu. His mustache was rather bushier, and his scratchy beard was not present. His cloak, while the material was undeniably the same as his own sword's cloak, wasn't covering his entire body._

 _It was more like a cape, lightly draping over his bleach-white militaristic attire, of which strangely reminded him of Uryu. Perhaps it was the pin keeping his cloak in place, which was a 5 -pronged symbol, not unlike Uryu's own Quincy cross, that invoked that resemblance._

 _The man's voice was muddy and hard to make out, and his vision seemed to become even more clouded. Ichigo knew that he was talking, but he couldn't understand any of it. Then, his vision completely failed him._

And that was the first night of many, _many_ nights where he woke up in a cold, dead sweat with a strange mixture of dread and familiarity.

Not only were the dreams becoming more frequent, but the content of them were becoming more clear. His vision was still very much cloudy, but the man's voice, although barely, was becoming more and more audible.

What he could hear was very much a cause for concern.

Perhaps the most notable and most concerning thing of this man's soliloquies is that fact that the man calls Ichigo his "son, born in the darkness". He mentions that his blood flows within him, and asks him to "step away from the darkness and into his light".

Recently, as in the past _week_ recently, the man speaks of being the very first Quincy, and how Ichigo knows nothing of his own mother.

He debated bringing it up with Urahara, or even his father, but he thought it'd be smart to bring it up with his friends first. So, during lunch the following day, he brought up the issue.

That particular lunch had been a rather quiet one up until now. The silence was one of understanding, the silence shared between close friends. The silence, however, was laced with discontentment- it was Monday, and no one wanted to be there. Not even Uryu, which while normally uncharacteristic of him, was unsurprising. His Quincy friend had been acting off for the past few months, and everyone knew it. Ichigo had a striking suspicion that somehow, their uneasy feelings were connected.

Ichigo broke the silence after a few moments of a wavering resolve, him debating whether or not this was a good idea, but finally coming to the conclusion that if it bothered him, he should probably bring it up.

"Hey, guys?" Ichigo spoke with a strange tone of hesitance.

Everyone made non-verbal cues of acknowledgement, since everyone - Chad, Uryu, and Orihime - just so happened to chewing at that exact moment. Uryu and him shared a look, one that seemed like his friend was piercing down into his very soul, finding out about the very issue that had been bothering him so much over the past couple of months.

After a brief moment taken to let them swallow, and a brief moment for Ichigo to regain his composure, he continued. "I've been having these weird dreams. Really weird dreams, actually..."

Ichigo sighed, pushing his hesitation to the side. He continued on to explain his situation. He mentions how it's very hard to make out the guy in his dreams, and how its been happening a lot more recently now. Ichigo realized that it felt really good to get his thoughts off of his chest. That dreadful, familiar feeling that he had been absently experiencing the last couple of months seemed to disappear for a moment.

It was silent for a moment, a silence Ichigo didn't know how to feel about. Uryu was the one who spoke first. "What.. what does the man look like?" He sounded like he was about to make a realization, a connection. That dreadful, and yet familiar feeling returned.

Ichigo described his appearance head to toe, and watched as his friend's eyes widened in what he could only assume was shock. He would be enjoying this moment a lot more had the situation been different, to be honest.

"We need to talk. After school." Uryu's voice was laced with a distant urgency- what he had to say was important, but either not important enough to skip school, or something that Uryu really didn't want to talk about.

Uryu's request came out of the blue. Ichigo was sharing that same face of shock that the Quincy had just been experiencing moments ago. Uryu would later laugh about that, far far later when this situation became something that they could all laugh about. Right now, however, his tone was completely serious, a grave, shaken look in his usually calm and collected eyes.

"Why not now?"

Uryu's reply was short and to the point. "We don't have enough time here, and there isn't a lot of privacy here either." Uryu's reasoning did make sense, after Ichigo thought about it for a moment. Ichigo didn't know if he should feel smart or completely dull that it took him even a moment to make sense of it.

Really though, you couldn't blame him. Today was just full of surprises, and it was hard for the _(former)_ shinigami-daiko to keep up on his feet.

Orihime spoke up next. The tone in her voice spoke volumes of how she felt - concerned, confused, but determined to aid her friends, not matter what she had to go through. Ichigo noticed Chad eye's spoke of this as well, sharing the sentiment. "..Okay, where do we talk in private?"

"Actually.." Uryu's voice concerned Orihime. He sounded guilty, resigned even. The smile that was once plastered on her face faltered, replaced with a small frown of worry. Uryu seemed to notice, and his discontent only grew.

He took a moment to continue. "I..I think that it'd be best if you stayed out of this, Orihime. You too, Chad." Orihime and Chad would have felt more hurt had they not heard the silent plea in their friend's voice. So, they agreed. It was the least they could do for them, Uryu especially.

So, Ichigo and Uryu settled on a time and place. The rest of lunch passed by with silence.

-o-o-o-

School passed by remarkably fast, and yet begrudgingly slow. Ichigo's anticipation made it hard to be patient. Either way, Ichigo and Uryu were now in a clearing in the forest, next to a small river and a small waterfall. Uryu sat on a rock, and Ichigo was leaning on a tree in the shade.

Uryu spoke first. "I've been having the exact same dream."

"You have?" Ichigo voice was laced with surprise. Of all the responses he had been expecting, that one wasn't it.

"I have. However, for some reason I can see and hear him perfectly fine., unlike you."

That confused Ichigo, and it confused Uryu as well. Ichigo, however, decided that was a question for later. Ichigo wanted to know what the man had been saying to Uryu. "What does he say?"

"It varies between dreams, between conversations... but generally, he speaks of returning soon, and for me to 'join him' and 'return to the light', whatever that means."

Uryu sounded like he was hiding something, whether it was a piece of information or his own feelings, Ichigo was unsure. His eyes held undertones of fear and restlessness, so Ichigo decided not to push, for fear of bringing something up that would hurt his friend. Instead, he continued. "He ever give a name?"

Uryu was silent for a moment. "Yhwach."

"Yhwach?" Ichigo thought why Yhwach had given Uryu his name and not Ichigo, but came to the conclusion that it didn't matter. It must have just been an oversight. Ichigo's attention moved from his own thoughts to his friend, who started talking.

"Yes, that's what I just said, Kurosaki." Uryu's tone was irritated, but halfheartedly. Not unlike some of the time's they've fought over trivial things before. But, this time it was different. He sounded tired, exhausted. More burdened, more concerned... more wary.

So he felt it too. That dreadful feeling. That.. familiarity of it all. A look of understanding phased between them.

After a silence, Ichigo spoke up. "Should we.. tell anybody? Like, Urahara?-"

Uryu's response was reflexive, it sounded concerned and slightly fearful. "Hell no! That weird prick would only get in our way, prodding us or _probing_ us for more answers, just like that Kurotsuchi bastard!"

Uryu's concerns were understandable, Ichigo knew. Urahara could be one weird guy. But, Ichigo had to get his point across. "You have to admit though, he'd probably know what's up! He's helped us in the past, why not now?"

Uryu was silent, then sighed. "I'm afraid this is where we part ways." His voice spoke of resentment, and yet held a defeated air to it. He sounded about as exhausted as he looked.

"What?! Why?" Ichigo was shocked. He hadn't Uryu to just bail on him like that.

Uryu gave him a look. His eyes were full of conflict. He was silent for a moment, their gazes becoming more uncomfortable by the second, when Uryu turned away, overcome with something. "I'm- You-"

He was frustrated, fumbling over his words. He'd never seen Uryu like this. Yes, he'd seen him mad and flustered, but never like this. Those times were all playful, they had a certain light-heartedness to them. Now, however, Uryu's frustration was real and true, down to his very core. Whatever was bothering him so much was _really_ bothering him.

Uryu gave up his fumbled attempted at a reply, huffing out madly. He took a moment to compose himself again, clutching his fists rather roughly. "You wouldn't understand. You- You... _don't_ understand, Kurosaki."

Uryu's voice was pained and quiet, filled with venom and yet compassion and just so damn _much._ He seemed at war with himself, and Ichigo couldn't help but feel that recent events had a part in it. Ichigo, who had already lost his will to push his friend any further, held up a hand. Uryu looked, stopping his attempts to continue to explain himself. "I.. Its okay, Uryu."

Uryu's lips, after a brief moment to process his orange-headed friend's words, twitched into the shadow of a smile. "Thank you." His voice was cold, but deep beneath that icy-cold response, Ichigo noticed the slightest bit of relief. Ichigo simply nodded.

Uryu was gone within the next 10 seconds, leaving Ichigo on his own in the forest, his heart aching with worry, and a bitter taste in his mouth.

That dreadful, familiar feeling grew ever more present.

-o-o-o-

Ichigo had left the clearing shortly after, heading toward Urahara's shop. Despite his friend's resentment to his plan, Ichigo had no ill feelings toward it. He wanted to look for advice from the strange shop-keeper, no matter now much he would deny it

The sun had already set, it was dark, but the sun's rays still graced the sky. It was a light shade of blue now, the day slowly succumbing to the night.

Ichigo stood in front of the shoten, taking a breath to prepare himself, and was just about to open the door when it shot open. The culprit stood at a height about a head's length beneath him, the raven-colored hair pulled back into a ponytail, and her strong, pitch black eyes looking up to meet his surprised amber ones.

"-get home safe, Karin! Remember, same time next week!" A familiar voice broke the stunned silence within his mind.

When the shop-keeper looked up, his gaze met Ichigo's. The man's eyes were laced with uncharacteristic shock.. He adjusted his bucket hat, composing himself as quickly as he could. "Oh, hello Ichigo, what are you doing here today?" His voice sounded even more unlike the man. It was guilty and almost cowardly.

So, Ichigo stood in front of Karin, his sister, who had been leaving the perverted, former-shinigami captain's candy/shinigami-ware shop. Karin and him shared a look, and as much as he wanted to scream and yell at Urahara, demanding answers, he had other issues he needed to attend to.

Karin's eyes begged, pleaded for him to let her on her way. Ichigo sighed, succumbing to his sister's gaze. "We talk about this later." His voice was strained, quiet and exhausted, not unlike Uryu's before-hand. Karin gave him a look of gratitude, giving him a nod in thanks as she rushed back home to the clinic.

The shoten was as dark and dreary as he remembered, Ichigo noted. Now that he thought about it, this was his first time here since he lost his powers. He just hadn't had any reason to come here. Now, however, he had a _lot_ of reasons to come here.

"Look, Ichigo, about Karin-"

Ichigo appreciated the man's attempts to defend his sister, but he really didn't want to hear it right now. "That's not what I'm here for, Urahara." His voice was exasperated, and Urahara knew to shut up for a moment.

"Look, I need answers." Urahara's eyes glinted with a realization. He tried to hide them, starting up his jovial facade, but the damage was already done. Ichigo already saw.

Urahara assumed his act, popping out his fan and covering his mouth, fanning himself slightly. "Ahh, Kurosaki-san, I don't know what you're talking about-"

Ichigo wasn't having it. "Stop the act already, Urahara, I know you know." Ichigo wasn't really happy with the man, not after what he just witnessed, but he had to let it go for the moment in favor of something more important. Urahara, sighed, giving in and putting the fan away.

His eyes twinkled with wisdom, glazed over with a sadness that Ichigo couldn't describe. He grew serious, guilt laced in his voice. "I... I'm not the one who should tell you. Answer your questions, I mean."

Ichigo was just about to speak up, to protest, when Urahara held up a pleading finger. "Ask your father for answers. He knows better than I do, after all." His voice trailed off, whimsical and nostalgic. Ichigo decided not to ask.

Ichigo, for the first time that night, noticed how.. tired Urahara looked. He seemed dreadful, a cloud of doubt and worry hanging over his head. He felt the effects of an up and coming threat. Ichigo likened it to a chess player having dug himself in a whole with his pawns, debating which of his pawns he would half to sacrifice to get pass his enemy, debating what he had to do to have any sliver of a chance of winning.

Ichigo sighed, a determined look passing over his features. His eyes were tired, and dreary and he was worried beyond hell, but he was determined. "Thank you, Urahara. For everything." And he meant everything.

Urahara's face was graced with a smile - a real smile, not a fake, jovial one he had put on before for one of his acts - a genuine smile. Ichigo couldn't help but feel a warm wave of contentment wash over him. "Thank you, Kurosaki."

Ichigo left the cold, dreary environment of the shoten for the hot and humid night. He walked back home, feeling the ever-present dread hang over his shoulders. His steps were heavy, he was weighed down by everything, but his mood couldn't help but lighten up a bit. Things were going to get better, even if they had to get worse before they did.

Ichigo felt happier then he had in months.

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Originally posted: 1/26/19

inspired by 'your faith used to be strong' by saunatonttu (go read it if this fic interests you at all. it's actually finished and much more readable.)


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